Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ricardo Montalban dies at 88.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter
Ricardo Montalban, the Mexican-born actor who became a star in splashy MGM musicals and later as the wish-fulfilling Mr. Roarke in TV's "Fantasy Island," died Wednesday morning at his home.

Montalban had been a star in Mexican movies when MGM brought him to Hollywood in 1946. He was cast in the leading role opposite Esther Williams in "Fiesta." He also starred with the swimming beauty in "On an Island With You" and "Neptune's Daughter."

A later generation knew Montalban as the faintly mysterious, white-suited Mr. Roarke, who presided over an island resort where visitors were able to fulfill their lifelong dreams. "Fantasy Island" received high ratings for most of its 1978-1984 span on ABC television and still appears in reruns.

In a 1978 interview, he analyzed the series' success:

"What is appealing is the idea of attaining the unattainable and learning from it. Once you obtain a fantasy it becomes a reality, and that reality is not as exciting as your fantasy. Through the fantasies you learn to appreciate your own realities."

My 2 cents...
I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Montalban when a friend of mine and I snuck onto the Paramount Studios lot (its a long story) and we were able to get onto the Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan set... He made quite an imposing figure as KHAN the arch nemesis of James T. Kirk. He was as nice a person as I have ever met, and seemed from the few scenes I was able to see filmed, he was such a professional... My kids know him as Grandpa Cortez from the SPY KIDS movies.

He will be missed!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Picture of the Week!

This weeks picture features a vintage photo from 1939!
Envisioned as a look into the future, this is what we are supposed to be wearing according to designers in 1939! This stylishly awesome gent is wearing a futuristic gray jumpsuit, metal antenna-like hat, and wide metal belt with pockets...

Sign me up for the FUTURE!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

"Get off my lawn!"

I just saw GRAN TORINO and loved it!

Clint Eastwood's latest film and his first acting roll since 'Million Dollar Baby' - Clint knocks this one out of the ball-park... He continues to prove that he is a solid filmmaker making memorable films and Torino is no different, the film is a true testament to his ability as both actor & director.

If you haven't seen the film you should. Eastwood takes the roll of Walt and makes him a very sympathetic old curmudgeon, in any other actors hands the character could have been just a parody of some fowl-mouthed old racist bastard!

"Eastwood plays retired auto worker Walt Kowalski, an iron-willed veteran living in a changing world, who is forced by his immigrant neighbors to confront his own long-held prejudices. The people he once called his neighbors have all moved or passed away, replaced by Hmong immigrants, from Southeast Asia, he despises. Resentful of virtually everything and everyone he sees, Walt is just waiting out the rest of his life...until the night his teenage neighbor Thao tries to steal his prized '72 Gran Torino, under pressure from Hmong gang-bangers. But Walt stands in the way of both the heist and the gang, making him the reluctant hero of the neighborhood--especially to Thao's mother and older sister, Sue, who insist that Thao work for Walt as a way to make amends. Though he initially wants nothing to do with these people, Walt eventually gives in and puts the boy to work, setting into motion an unlikely friendship that will change both their lives."

Gran Torino pulls no punches with it's language, and there are many moments in the film where you will say - 'did he just say what I think he said?!' But there is an honesty to the film that I haven't seen in a film in a long time. To say this could be Clint's best work, would be unfair to whatever he may be doing next...


Monday, January 5, 2009

Picture of the Week!

It's no secret to the people who know me... Oh wait, yeah it is kind of a secret!
OKAY, I admit it -I like vintage photographs of monkeys or chimps wearing clothes, and I have an interesting collection of bizarre B&W images that I've collected over the years! I find something very entertainingly sad about chips forced to dress up in people clothes and pose! It makes me laugh when I see one, but they also make me think too - after all we are only separated by a few small bits of DNA! Anyway I thought it fitting to kick of the new blog and "Picture of the Week" with a costumed chimp!


Friday, January 2, 2009

"The Tale of Shasty McNasty"

The following actual account is based on an event that actually took place...
(you have been warned)

Alright, now we've all one time or another had to GO - I'm not talking about going to the market, or going to the bank... I'm talking about having to really GO!

Let me just say that I've seen a lot of crazy things in my time on this planet, I spent 7 years working at AMERICAS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS as the head of the screening department - so really nothing surprises me... well almost nothing!

On a recent trip with the kids to Disneyland I was a sorry witness to God's cruelty to man. We had just finished lunch at the Blue Bayou and as we headed for the New Orleans train station we hit the mens restroom a short stones thrown from the Haunted Mansion... being the after lunch crowd it was pretty busy in there - both the kids went in to their stalls and I stood watch as they did their business, I was holding the door for my daughter as a line quickly formed for each of the 5 stalls. It is at this point I noticed an Asian gentleman about 35 years old come rushing in all humped over... he had that desperate look of panic on his face, you know that look - we parents have seen it a hundred times on the face of a 2 year old that has waited till the absolute last min to use the toilet.

This poor bastard was pinching his cheeks and seeing that all the stalls were "occupodo" began a dance of doubled over pain and proceeds to circle the bathroom like a caged beast while pinching his ass-cheeks moaning, OH GOD OH GOD... my son exits the stall the next guy in line (showing no sympathy) enters the stall, so my new 'about to explode' friend does what any grown adult would do... he drops his shorts and proceeds to SHIT on THE FLOOR in the OPEN DOORWAY for ALL to see in a PUBLIC THEME PARK RESTROOM!!!

Now I've seen lots of crazy crap in my time, but this has to be one of the greatest things I've ever seen - this poor bastard was an E-Ticket ride... In a way I felt sorry for him but at the same time I was totally disgusted while holding back my laughter. I'll spare you the gory details of the puddle of liquid dookey... but DUDE what the fuck!?! When the event was over, the guy hitches up his shorts and whithout so much as a wipe or look back - makes his quick exit just as a janitor walks in! Mind you I'm totally into whats going on as the kids wash their hands - the inner laughter builds inside me! The look on the janitor's face as he entered the doorway to witness the shitty event was simply priceless, he walks past this runny mound of shit without so much as a double-take... which begs the question: has he seen this sort of thing before?

I know we are all uman and we've all had to GO real bad, I have a sensative tummy and if the food is even remotley tainted, it'll hit me hard - but never in all my drunken days as far as I can remember have I ever been forced to drop my shorts and shit in public on the floor at Disneyland for craps-sake!

The kids were oblivious to the whole incident, but when we exited and I said "Don't step in THAT!" - I couldn't hold it any longer - my laughter burst out and I had to tell them what just happened - I had to tell somebody - right?

I have this vision of that poor bastard going back to his family... what did he tell them? Did he tell them what happened? I imagine instead he returned with his head hung low in shame saying nothing at all...

So, there you have it - The Tale of Shasty McNasty, so dubbed by the kids. Needless to say in the years since this event, every time I visit the restroom near the New Orleans train station I enter with a fond chuckle to my pal Shasty...

*(this story originally posted on MySpace Sept. 2006)

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Jan: New Years ’08 - CM watches the ball drop all alone – notes that Dick Clark looks a lot like Ryan Seacrest since his stroke – adds “more veggies” to resolution list - Amy Winehouse enters rehab – quickly exits rehab - After a long dry spell, CM dating again

Feb: CM replaces “more veggies” with “pizza” - CM sells a few more copies of his book, still not able to retire – CM buys self Valentine’s Day candy - chokes

March: Benjamin turns 10 – CM gets more gray hair – birthday party at the Reptile place, kids are given education on pig reproduction and lesson in how not to hold a tortoise so it won't projectile poop in your face - one kid learns the hard way - CM adopts the ‘NO pants Fridays’ rule

April: the Tax Man cometh the Tax Man taketh away

May: the definition of the word “dating” is called into question – single again - CM swears off girls – then quickly swears off boys - After nearly 20 years Indiana Jones returns in The Kingdom of the Krystal TURD - CM joins ‘top secret group to kidnap George Lucas and force him to retire’ (aka: TSGTKGLAFHTR) – security at Skywalker Ranch very tight – TSGTKGLAFHTR disbands – CM watches the original INDY films on DVD

June: CM makes a killing on ebay selling Batman toys – squanders ebay loot buying 1960’s VINTAGE Batman toys – school is out, what to do with free time – new apps on facebook - CM goes on super-poke rampage

July: Angelina Jolie gives birth to twins – despite rumors to the contrary CM is not the father – CM gives birth to another kidney stone

Aug: CM starts mural at school, students later ask where is Pokemon – NO Pokemon

Sept: Salma Hayek also gives birth , CM also not the father - Hannah turns 8 – more gray hairs - CM’s 46th comes and goes like a fart in church – CM adds Pokemon ball to mural – in a fit of lack of self control CM consumes an entire apple pie

Oct: Mr. Bonez hands out record number of Halloween candies totaling 900 – CM receives AFTRA residual check in the amount of $4.00 for his superb TV acting in 1994

Nov: With the one deciding vote CM elects the new president – massive turkey consumption - stuffing & cranberry coma follows – cold weather comes, ‘NO pants Fridays’ rule is rescinded

Dec: CM has potentially life altering epiphany! – forgets to write epiphany down, can’t remember epiphany – Suits up as Santa to meet every runny nose & cough at school – spends xmas holiday alone with a cold – xmas sleep over at moms, family drama ensues - then spends second xmas with the kiddies – AND ALL WAS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!